Written Oct 6, 2008
"the joy comes in the morning"
"For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Psalms 30:5
Just because you go through dry areas doesn't mean you have fallen out of God's will. God sent Moses and the Israelites through the wilderness and through the dry and barren land without water but He never left them. As they continued to follow Him, He provided. The bible tells us in many places that we will endure trials. If life were perfect, there would be no need for the cross. If life were perfect, we would never have to exercise faith.
Two years ago today, the man I thought I would marry dropped to one knee and asked me to be his wife. When things didn't go as planned, I was devastated. I suddenly looked around and found myself in that desert.
The good news is that God is already prepared for the trials that we will face. He has gone before hand and prepared the way for us. When the Israelites needed water Moses cried out to God and asked for help. God told moses to uproot a tree and place it in the sea. He purified the water, He provided. It's amazing to think how years before Moses would arrive, God grew that tree knowing what it would be used for. When I reflect back on the past few years, it is amazing to me to think about how God knew the people he was going to put in my life to help me grow and help me heal, some for a moment, and some for a lifetime. It is amazing to think that before I was ever created, God knew how He would use me. He knew trials I would face and the people that I would be able to minister to because of them. He knew that I would bounce back, even though there were periods when I wasn't even sure He was there, or anywhere for that matter, because "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Thank You God for the morning.
Currently, I am learning that we can't let the trials of our past and present keep us from what God will do in the future. As a song that I used to sing in church says "lately I've been winning battles left and right, but even winners can get wounded in the fight, people say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years, but they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears." We all get wounded, we all have scars, but we can't let ourselves be calloused. If we become calloused to keep from being wounded, we will inevitably miss what God will do in our future, or even what He is doing in our present. I don't want to be calloused or build walls or hide in the trenches. I don't want to be timid or defensive. I want to have a pure, open and receptive heart to what God is doing in every area of my life. I want to always look for the promised land no matter how many obstacles and detours I have to face.
"I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing wind and rain
Tear my walls down, I'm only Yours now
I need You like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
Burn these walls down,
I'm only Yours now
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
When you spend your life in airports…..
When you spend your life in airports…..
Most of my life has been spent avoiding the one thing I am afraid of…being alone. Until this year I was pretty good at it. This year I am traveling a lot. For the first time in my life, I spend a lot of time alone. I’ve never lived alone, always over involved myself in activities, and always jumped from one relationship into the next.
When you spend your life in airports you find yourself with a lot of alone time. Sometimes It amazes me how I can be in a city like Dallas or an airport in Detroit and surrounded by so many people but yet feel so utterly alone. It is in the alone times that you are forced to face yourself. It is in the quiet, empty hotel rooms in cities where I know no one that I have begun to find myself.
I am currently reading Blue Like Jazz by John Morgan. This quote stuck out to me:
“I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God”
Ouch.
I waste a lot of time. I spend so much time investing in the pursuit of what? Not in the pursuit of Christ but in a stable career, a husband, money, in pursuit of just about everything except Christ.
Sometimes I catch myself stuck thinking that I can’t fully know who God is if I don’t even know who I am but the truth is that I can’t fully know who I am until I fully understand who He is.
When you spend your life in airports you meet a lot of people. Each of those people are on a journey, they have an agenda. Sometimes I wonder if I am so caught up in my agenda that I forget to stop and enjoy the journey, too busy to notice the people around me, a lost and dying world, hurting and in need of a Savior. Sometimes I wonder if I am so worried about my agenda that I forget that I need my Savior.
Most of my life has been spent avoiding the one thing I am afraid of…being alone. Until this year I was pretty good at it. This year I am traveling a lot. For the first time in my life, I spend a lot of time alone. I’ve never lived alone, always over involved myself in activities, and always jumped from one relationship into the next.
When you spend your life in airports you find yourself with a lot of alone time. Sometimes It amazes me how I can be in a city like Dallas or an airport in Detroit and surrounded by so many people but yet feel so utterly alone. It is in the alone times that you are forced to face yourself. It is in the quiet, empty hotel rooms in cities where I know no one that I have begun to find myself.
I am currently reading Blue Like Jazz by John Morgan. This quote stuck out to me:
“I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God”
Ouch.
I waste a lot of time. I spend so much time investing in the pursuit of what? Not in the pursuit of Christ but in a stable career, a husband, money, in pursuit of just about everything except Christ.
Sometimes I catch myself stuck thinking that I can’t fully know who God is if I don’t even know who I am but the truth is that I can’t fully know who I am until I fully understand who He is.
When you spend your life in airports you meet a lot of people. Each of those people are on a journey, they have an agenda. Sometimes I wonder if I am so caught up in my agenda that I forget to stop and enjoy the journey, too busy to notice the people around me, a lost and dying world, hurting and in need of a Savior. Sometimes I wonder if I am so worried about my agenda that I forget that I need my Savior.
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