“IF” by Cassondra Marshall

“IF”

by Cassondra Marshall, written for the faculty, staff, students, alumni, and friends of UAHuntsville

If it were just a school,

Surely we wouldn’t be so grieved.

And if they were only teachers,

We’d accept the news we have received

With no thought of what it means

To have walked up and down those halls,

Or the privilege of saying

We learned within those walls.

If it were merely an institution,

We’d just shrug off this disaster.

If they were just instructors,

None of this would even matter.

If we had only gotten

A receipt with our degrees

Then we’d see the same victims

That everyone else sees.

But if I could just be honest

In hopes of shedding light,

I’d tell a tale that’s different

From what others say and write.

I would say that I grew up

In Central Campus Residence Hall,

And that I’m a better person

For having answered the Charger call.

I would say that I was nurtured

By the best school staff in the nation.

And that I have walked away

With much more than education.

That I was mentored by professors

Whose classes I never took,

And gained more from their influence

Than from 20 million books.

I’d say that UAHuntsville

Is much more than just a college,

And as a UAH student,

I obtained much more than knowledge.

And if I were a gambler,

I’d bet that I’m not alone

In writing, thinking, and feeling

That UAH was more like home.

Singles Awareness Day

I would just like to take a moment and address "Singles Awareness Day" aka Valentines Day. I hear so many of my Christian friends talk about celebrating S.A.D. It almost seems selfish to me to take a day that is centered around Love and turn it into a pitty party when we have THE most perfect Love that anyone could ever dream of in the Love of Christ. Seriously, this man was beaten, spat upon, mocked, tortured, nailed on a cross and crucified for YOUR sins so that you could have eternal life. If that's not Love then I don't know what is. I've been "in love"...a couple of times...and as great as it is, it pails in comparison to the Love that Christ shows me every day of my life. This Valentines day, single or not, I encourage you to have a new attitude and instead of celebrating "S.A.D." celebrate the love that you do have in your life. The love of friends, family, and Christ. Share that love with others this season, volunteer somewhere this weekend and share your love with someone in need. Celebrate life changing love this year and I promise it will beat any Singles Awareness Day you will ever have. Happiness is a choice, and joy is not circumstantial.

What now God?

Sometimes I don't feel like I know what I am "called" to do. I think Christians get in this rut of trying to find their "calling" that they forget to slow down and figure out why God has them where they are right there in that very moment. We grow up thinking of a "calling" as a profession but the more I think about it, I don't think that is what a true calling is at all. I hear so many people, especially in my field of work, talking about being called to be a teacher, doctor, ect. While this may be true for some of us, I don't think those of us that are lacking that kind of direction are lacking anything.

I believe that God calls some of us to professions, but some of us he wants to steer along day by day. I made the comment to a friend once that "I don't believe Admissions is my calling, but it is an avenue to where God wants me to be." I was wrong for that. God's direction is greater than a career path. If he has me at UAHuntsville then that is where He wants me to work for the time being whether it be months, or years. Sometimes I doubt my decision to go to UA and major in Advertising. I am wrong for that. Even if I never use my degree, I know there was a purpose for why I was there. I knew that when I started, but somehow that belief got lost along the way. Whether it was a peer in my class, or a teacher, or someone that walked in to TISH Student Services, there was a divine reason that God had me there.

I am definitely not the first to ask these questions. When the Moses and his people were in the wilderness for so many tiresome, troubled years, some of them questioned. Some of them even wished they had never left. Were they crazy?? They wanted to go back to slavery?? No, they weren't crazy. They had just forgotten that God is a big picture God but only shows us a little at a time.

I don't know where I will end up. I don't know how long I will be at UAH. I do know that He will open the right door at the right place when I am ready, and THAT will be my "calling", even if it is just for a season.

Turkey or Grape Nuts?

Yesterday I had the privilege of worshiping at Gardendale First Baptist Church. The pastor said something that got my attention. He was speaking about the difference in a church that is living and on fire and a church that is dead and religious. He made the comparison that once you have a turkey and dressing dinner then a bowl of cereal just won't do it for you anymore. This statement was profound to me. I have grown up in church and been in many different types of worship services. There is a distinct difference in a service where the congregation is there to worship and when the congregation is there to "go to church". The three points, a prayer and a song worship services that litter our "christian society" may be the very thing that sends our nation to hell. The pastor's point was that once you experience true worship that you hunger for it and can't accept less. While I agree with this statement and wanted to jump up and clap, my bigger burden is those that are content with the cereal. Those that are content with "going to church" because it makes them feel like a good person. Our churches are filled with "Christians" that are playing church. I have been guilty of this myself. If the Christians of this nation were really experiencing true worship then this nation would not be in the place it is today. We accept leaders that speak of going to church with out demanding to see the fruit of their labor.

"True worshipers worship in Spirit and in Truth" Eph. 2:10

Are we as a modern church settling for less than we should? I believe we are. We have traded relationships for religion and Truth for tradition. We have reduced our church services to little more than a social gathering. We treat our church members as members of some elite club. Until we take a stand and no longer settle for a watered down version of worship we will never see great change. We need to hunger for the turkey dinner instead of settling for a bowl of grape nuts.

"WHEN THE TOAST IS BURNED
AND ALL THE MILK HAS TURNED
AND CAPTAIN CRUNCH IS WAVING FAREWELL,
WHEN THE BIG ONE FINDS YOU MAY THIS SONG REMIND YOU
THAT THEY DON’T SERVE BREAKFAST IN HELL"
- Newsboys, "Breakfast"

a blog from when I was stronger...reminder to myself

Written Oct 6, 2008

"the joy comes in the morning"
"For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Psalms 30:5

Just because you go through dry areas doesn't mean you have fallen out of God's will. God sent Moses and the Israelites through the wilderness and through the dry and barren land without water but He never left them. As they continued to follow Him, He provided. The bible tells us in many places that we will endure trials. If life were perfect, there would be no need for the cross. If life were perfect, we would never have to exercise faith.

Two years ago today, the man I thought I would marry dropped to one knee and asked me to be his wife. When things didn't go as planned, I was devastated. I suddenly looked around and found myself in that desert.

The good news is that God is already prepared for the trials that we will face. He has gone before hand and prepared the way for us. When the Israelites needed water Moses cried out to God and asked for help. God told moses to uproot a tree and place it in the sea. He purified the water, He provided. It's amazing to think how years before Moses would arrive, God grew that tree knowing what it would be used for. When I reflect back on the past few years, it is amazing to me to think about how God knew the people he was going to put in my life to help me grow and help me heal, some for a moment, and some for a lifetime. It is amazing to think that before I was ever created, God knew how He would use me. He knew trials I would face and the people that I would be able to minister to because of them. He knew that I would bounce back, even though there were periods when I wasn't even sure He was there, or anywhere for that matter, because "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Thank You God for the morning.

Currently, I am learning that we can't let the trials of our past and present keep us from what God will do in the future. As a song that I used to sing in church says "lately I've been winning battles left and right, but even winners can get wounded in the fight, people say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years, but they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears." We all get wounded, we all have scars, but we can't let ourselves be calloused. If we become calloused to keep from being wounded, we will inevitably miss what God will do in our future, or even what He is doing in our present. I don't want to be calloused or build walls or hide in the trenches. I don't want to be timid or defensive. I want to have a pure, open and receptive heart to what God is doing in every area of my life. I want to always look for the promised land no matter how many obstacles and detours I have to face.

"I need You like a hurricane

Thunder crashing wind and rain

Tear my walls down, I'm only Yours now

I need You like a burning flame

A wild fire untamed

Burn these walls down,

I'm only Yours now

When you spend your life in airports…..

When you spend your life in airports…..

Most of my life has been spent avoiding the one thing I am afraid of…being alone. Until this year I was pretty good at it. This year I am traveling a lot. For the first time in my life, I spend a lot of time alone. I’ve never lived alone, always over involved myself in activities, and always jumped from one relationship into the next.
When you spend your life in airports you find yourself with a lot of alone time. Sometimes It amazes me how I can be in a city like Dallas or an airport in Detroit and surrounded by so many people but yet feel so utterly alone. It is in the alone times that you are forced to face yourself. It is in the quiet, empty hotel rooms in cities where I know no one that I have begun to find myself.
I am currently reading Blue Like Jazz by John Morgan. This quote stuck out to me:
“I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God”
Ouch.
I waste a lot of time. I spend so much time investing in the pursuit of what? Not in the pursuit of Christ but in a stable career, a husband, money, in pursuit of just about everything except Christ.
Sometimes I catch myself stuck thinking that I can’t fully know who God is if I don’t even know who I am but the truth is that I can’t fully know who I am until I fully understand who He is.
When you spend your life in airports you meet a lot of people. Each of those people are on a journey, they have an agenda. Sometimes I wonder if I am so caught up in my agenda that I forget to stop and enjoy the journey, too busy to notice the people around me, a lost and dying world, hurting and in need of a Savior. Sometimes I wonder if I am so worried about my agenda that I forget that I need my Savior.

Wading in the water..

Last night I had the privilege of hearing one of my dear friends from high school preach the Word of God.  In addition to being incredibly proud of him, God used him to speak to me.

His message was on water. He preached out of Ezekiel, Chapter 47.

I don't want to be ankle deep, 

I don't want to be knee deep,

I want to be over my head in the water of Christ.

I want to be so trusting that I can be in over my head and can look to Him and say "yes God, I trust you" 

I'm tired of holding back and trying to fix things myself.  I just make things worse...but for some reason I still have a hard time giving up control.

I don't want to be like that.